So I decided to create a new series I am going to call Random Thoughts. The intent of these posts is simply to provide less thoughtful, definitely less thought-provoking, potentially offensive random thoughts. I warn you now, if you ever had a decent thought about me you may want to stop reading any further, I am almost certain you will not think well of me ever again if you continue. So, please stop, really don't go on. OK, but you can't hold this against me, and by continuing to read on you are now no longer able to enact judgment on me as a result of the content of this blog.
So as you probably know from visiting the "Life in the Kids Lane" blog, that I was in Vegas with my 5 year old. Our first night we ate late at Denny's, as we were paying for the food, I overheard (using that term loosely as everyone in the restaurant heard the conversation) the apparent shift manager speaking to who I presume was another employee who, it seems, was due to be at work at that moment.
The manager, in order to keep this moving, we'll call her Marge, (I'm not sure why I chose Marge, but I did, and this is my blog so Marge it is.) is speaking with the currently absent employee, whom I will call Jim (mostly because I like Jim Halpert from The Office, although he would never leave his co-workers in such a lurch). Jim and Marge are arguing about whether Jim should bear the freezing weather (80 degrees in Vegas during the day, 50 degrees at the current time of the conversation) and come into work. The argument is not what you expect though, it isn't Jim trying to convince Marge that he is too sick to come in, it is Marge! Sweet Marge is breaking the Cardinal rule of Management, she is enabling Jim's absenteeism by trying to be an understanding, nice boss by telling him to stay home. "No, really we're fine, I have Ray and Jorge and Anna."
There are two problems with this is my mind. One is that she is telling him to stay home. She can't mark this as an unexcused absence, it can't be used as a coaching opportunity later, and certainly can't be held against him. (Although something tells me that Jim is not a stellar employee and this probably isn't the only infraction.) Second is that she doesn't realize that he is totally using her. "Oh Marge, I can come in, cough, cough, (that bad fake cough we all have been able to do since 2nd grade) I'm not that bad, my temperature is only 115, I can cough, cough, (with a wheezy voice) come in if you reeeeaaaaallllyyyy need me to. cough, cough (couple more for good measure) If I knew how to record a file and get it on this post, I would have re-enacted it for you for better effect.
So because I can't keep my mouth shut, not to mention Marge is not helping me while she is arguing with Jim while I am standing there waiting to pay and leave. (I'm like a dog, I always need stimulation, if I have to wait too long I tend to get agitated and want to "help" the process along. But do you blame me? I ahve a 5 yr old who fell asleep hugging a palm tree outside!) I tell her that if Jim wants to come in so bad, let him! We could have used him 45 mins ago. But I don't stop there, I keep prodding her, "Look Marge is it? Look Marge, the guy obviously wants to come in, that means he is faking it, he's probably got plans to go out later!" I feel like a very bad therapist! I can't let he work this out herself, I am trying to convince her that I am right, and she needs to do what I tell her. I ask her if this is the first time Jim has done this. At one point I really wanted to take the phone from her and tell Jim myself that he needs to get his moons over my hammie in pronto. She finally decides that my nuggets of managment wisdom are not helping her, so she lets me pay for our check so I'll go. I leave her one last nugget, as a tip if you will, "Call him later and see if he answers, call his house and cell both, he won't answer you, and tomorrow, he'll tell you that he took a lot of medicine and fell totally asleep." Which could be a legitimate reason for Anna or Ray, but probably not for Jim. The problem is, when he does get fired (because he will, even Denny's has standards) it will probably be for a true illness. Like the boy who cried wolf. Good luck Jim.
